The Stars and the Cookie Jar

Ten Ways To Tell You're Reading One of My Stories

1. There are lesbians. There just are.

2. Polysyndeton yay! (To borrow an example from... I think it was florahart, It was a day full of blank and blank and blank.)

3. Iamb what iamb. In other words, since I found out I could do this with some facility in college and wrote an entire novel in iambic pentameter, I create iambs in all my sentences.

4. Commas! No em-dashes! Commas! Commas which then have to be defended by sovay!

5. Lust objects have red hair.

6. Lavish, unconventionally-placed descriptions of food.

7. It's not set in the modern world. At least, not the real modern world.

8. The dialogue is slightly pretentious. I speak in a slightly pretentious manner myself, I think.

9. Um. I ran out. Number 9 is open for suggestion or interpretation. Except I know what number 10 is.

10. You have to wait a year for the next one.