posted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
selkie at 11:49am on 07/04/2005
selkie at 11:49am on 07/04/2005You can't save anybody.
I learned this at the expense of my scholarships, my mental health and my self-worth. I learned it rote in long, long nights in the hospital beside somebody who had listened to all the demons in their head, and in painful and excruciating and embarassing encounters with townie police and campus police, and in frantic train trips I couldn't afford.
You don't get to save anybody.
All you can do is offer the knowledge that you've been there, too; that you know what the inner chorus is shrieking; that there is an after, a something else, a way to get on with the story. And you want to be listened to, because it would save pain and uncertainty. Because it would be easier for that person you care about, if only they realised you've been there too.
That's all. I don't know.
I learned this at the expense of my scholarships, my mental health and my self-worth. I learned it rote in long, long nights in the hospital beside somebody who had listened to all the demons in their head, and in painful and excruciating and embarassing encounters with townie police and campus police, and in frantic train trips I couldn't afford.
You don't get to save anybody.
All you can do is offer the knowledge that you've been there, too; that you know what the inner chorus is shrieking; that there is an after, a something else, a way to get on with the story. And you want to be listened to, because it would save pain and uncertainty. Because it would be easier for that person you care about, if only they realised you've been there too.
That's all. I don't know.
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*singy sing*
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So you prepare the burn cream and ready the gauze.
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I know this is much, much harder with regard to friends than it is with regard to a social worker's clients... but one of my job mantras for myself is something to the effect of "I can't help anyone." The mantra is a bit simplistic, since, on another level, I can help people... but it's a useful reminder anyway.
And with regards to my grandmother, a deadingly depressing one.
It's also a useful reminder that I can't and shouldn't take over someone else's life and make them change the decisions they want to make, or change the way they will be happy. (A concept that has more in common with the ethical quandaries of involuntary hospitalization than I care to contemplate at the moment. Fortunately, involuntary hospitalization is probably not related to your post.)
I hope that whoever you are talking about pulls through whatever decisions s/he is trying to make.
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Another part is protesting: but but but you can. Sometimes. You can.
I don't know.
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Also, I was going to ask N. if someone (of the three folks living at your place) was going to be around this weekend, so I could stop by for the check and the lids and DVD cord and such, but then read an unhappy money post and didn't want to stress her more. Do you guys have my $200 stashed away anywhere? And if not, can I still come for the other stuff? And get some idea when I might be able to get the cash-ola? THANKS! (And give her hugs for me-stress sucks)
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Not sure when someone will be around this weekend; we should be back Sunday night, but that would suck for you if you have to wake up early for work Monday. Do you still have N's number? She could probably tell you more about that stuff, as I have been in my own little find-a-job! Find-a-job! world lately. :)
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