The Stars and the Cookie Jar

I heard rumors that there was one couple for whom wedding planning did not turn out to be scary and exhausting... No one you or I know, though, so it could have been an urban legend.

No knowledge of the aforementioned postal addresses, unfortunately.

Chocolate is a good idea.

I have two helpful tips for wedding planning, both of which helped at least me a fair bit:

One, pick something utterly pointless and unlikely to focus your anxiety on-- 'what if the officiant brings a howler monkey?' 'what if my clothes turn out to give me superpowers and I have to go save the world?' and the classic 'what if everyone wears fuchsia?' are the sort of thing I'm talking about. This way, you can have something to worry over and obsess about without the slightest chance that your fears are actually based in reality, which means that nervousness will not get in the way of the things you actually need to do quite so much.

Two, develop an elaborate shared daydream with your fiancee-- as detailed as you can possibly make it-- about just how damn easy it would be to pick up and elope. Where you'd go, what you'd say, how you'd feel, and every little step you'd take. This will give you the release of pressure of knowing that your wedding is not something you have to do, but something you're doing because you want to, and the more detailed the fantasy, the less likely it is that you'll actually really want to use it. One of the best short breaks you can possibly take from planning is to turn to your partner and say 'Or we could be in Vegas by midnight'. Fifteen to twenty minutes of this kind of thing generally gives strength for another whole session of thinking about florists.

Also, lastly and most importantly, it's your wedding. Do not include anything that you both don't really, really want. Concentrate on the things that matter to you, and don't let anyone else tell you what those ought to be. Working for things you know you're going to enjoy when the day comes is what makes the planning fun as well as hideously terrifying bureaucratic frustration.

Good luck, and don't forget to breathe.

It wouldn't be right now but I could send you a supply of British chocolate for emergencies if you'd like. (I'm afraid my only wedding hints and tips are: get married as a student, have all your friends make different bits of the wedding for you as presents, plan the wedding during very boring missiology lectures so you don't have to take time out from writing your portfolio essays on the development of Sunni-ism to do it)

::pets you::

Remembers the various weddings planned at our mutual place of employment, lo a year or more ago. EEEEK!!!