The Stars and the Cookie Jar

Tomorrow, my Valentine is taking me to the curling club. It's her league's night to bring snacks, and I gather that Nutter Butters and half-skim milk aren't the done snack at the curling club, so I made the following for her to tote along.

The cupcakes don't brown -- they stay a sinless outward white -- but they dry up and shrivel easily and become horrible if you don't watch them.

And homemade chocolate icing is the best revenge.

Cupcakes:

Preheat oven to 350F/175C. Line a muffin tin with paper or tinfoil liners. These cupcakes need liners or their outsides will burn.

3 cups good flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 cup milk, plus more if needed
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 sticks butter, softened
1-3/4 cups white sugar
3 large eggs


Beat the butter and sugar together until very pale and fluffy, about four minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, beating to combine. Add the vanilla, and beat at medium speed at least a minute.

Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt in a very large bowl.

Add the butter mixture to it, and then add 1 cup of milk. The batter will be extremely stiff, and some flour may remain at the sides of the bowl. Add more milk by tablespoons and mix quickly and lightly (how much milk depends on your flour) until it's just thicker than regular cake batter, and no exposed flour streaks remain.

Fill paper liners 3/4 full, and bake 18-20 minutes, checking the cupcakes at 18 minutes for doneness. Cool completely before icing.

Makes 32 cupcakes.

Vendetta Buttercream Icing

3 Tbsp butter
3 Tbsp Crisco or other vegetable shortening**
2-2/3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened baking cocoa or Dutch process unsweetened cocoa
1/3 cup milk, more or less

Beat butter and shortening until combined.

Whisk together cocoa and powdered sugar in a medium bowl.

Add the powdered mixture to the shortening mixture in parts, alternating with small amounts of the milk, and stop to scrape the sides of the mixing bowl continually. Keep beating together and adding tiny amounts of milk until the icing obtains the spreading consistency you want.

Refrigerate unused icing in a covered container if you have used butter. You can also make an all Crisco icing, which has the dual advantage of being pareve and not requiring refrigeration, but which loses something in translation. Bring to cool room temperature before spreading on cakes.

** You can use all butter if you find Crisco deplorable, but the icing won't set the same way and in a warm room will get melty.

*** D'oh. I forget these things. If you want a pareve icing, swap in water for the milk.