The Stars and the Cookie Jar

Do you have:
() your own cell phone (my wife and I share one.)
( X) a tv in your bedroom
() an iPod
( X) a photo printer
( ) your own phone line (again, my wife and I share one. Clearly, a teenager made this meme up.)

( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(X) high-speed internet access (aka not dialup)
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
(X) dvd player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs
(X) a childfree bathroom (because we don't yet have children. From people who actually use the term, I know what it means, and it's odd.)
( ) your own in-house office
(X) a pool
( ) a guest house
( ) a game room
(X) a queen-size bed (there are two of us)
( ) a stocked bar
(X) a working dishwasher
( X) an icemaker
(X) a working washer and dryer (down the hallway, $1.25 a load to wash and .25/10 min to dry)
( ) at least ten things from a designer store
( ) expensive sunglasses
( ) framed authentic art
( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
( ) a multi-speed bike
( ) a gym membership
( ) large exercise equipment at home
( ) your own set of golf clubs
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
(X) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
(X) wealthy family members
( ) two or more family cars
( ) a walk-in closet or pantry
( ) a yard
( ) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
( ) good credit
( ) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
( ) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
( ) a stock portfolio
(X) a passport
( ) a horse
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
(X ) private medical insurance
( ) a college degree, but no student loans

Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
(X) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores (Uhhh... does this mean Whole Foods? Where we have to go for fresh vegetables?)
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
( ) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw
( ) wear perfume or cologne
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
( ) have a job but don't need the money OR
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
(X) regularly pay someone else to drive you (YES. The WMATA. I pay them $2.50/day, give or take.)
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner

Are you:
( ) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
(X) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way

Have you:
( ) been on a cruise
(X) traveled out of the country
(X) met a celebrity
( ) been to the Caribbean
(X) been to Europe
( ) been to Hawaii
(X) been to New York
( ) eaten at the Space Needle in Seattle
( ) been to the Mall of America
( ) been to the Eiffel Tower in Paris
( ) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
( ) moved more than three times because you wanted to
(X) dined with local political figures
( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast (in any country)

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(X) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
(X ) attend private school
( ) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you