The Stars and the Cookie Jar

What are the best and worst things you've gotten from LJ?

Hmmm. The best thing I got from LJ was my wife. The worst thing is knowledge that my ex is still out there (pick an ex) so there's sometimes the temptation to go and be smug.

How did you meet sovay?

In college, when I too was nocturnal, I heard disembodied singing of weird opera (and sometimes other things) from.... somewhere outside at random hours of the night. It turned out to be sovay two doors down with the window wide open, but based on range and technical proficiency I decided it had to be a ghost.

What is your dream book to write? Or have you all ready written it?

I have already written some of it. It's called The Seal Wife and it's not. Being. Very. Cooperative. Right. Now. I hope to have it finished this year.


How did you fall in love with your wife, and how did you know?

At some point during the first weekend we spent together, everything else blurred away, and all I could see clearly was this marvelous, complex, attractive person. I know things happened that weekend. I know there was weather, and people, and tourist locales. But all I remember is what she said, what she wore, the way she touched me, things like that. And then when I had to leave her, it hurt. I hadn't felt that strongly about a person in... probably ever. The whole train journey home again is just this big lonely ache in my mind. So of course I had to keep seeing her.

Do you consider yourself a violent person?

I consider myself potentially violent, and I really regret that. I've never hurt my wife, and I'm not sure I have a contingency plan for if I ever did. I would probably have a complete and tidy breakdown. I know the fear of being violently abusive is entirely a result of my upbringing, and I know it's irrational, but that doesn't mean I can get away from it.

How many children do you plan to have (and how-- as in, method of fertilization and are you carrying them)?

I think we settled on four or five? I dunno. I'd like a large family, in the frum style, because it's what I'm used to; but at the same time I feel strongly about only having as many children as you can support without recourse to public assistance. We've been looking at the Wiggly Pop Method (IUF, Turkey Baster Parenting, etc) and my heroic wife will be carrying them.

If there was one stereotype that you could rid the world of, what would it be?

I would like to purge the world of the idea that Chasidim and other extremist sects of any faith are happy, sunny, nonviolent, naive idealists. For every actually pious, tikkun olam Chasid, there's a man who beats his wife, needs WIC to feed his children and can't improve his family's prospects because his entire secular experience has been crooked. And it fucks people up. It just does. I'm not saying there aren't truly holy, well-adjusted, happy people living by all 613 mitzvot! I'm just saying it's not all chreyn and slivovitz.