The Stars and the Cookie Jar

So, I just called my grandmother to wish her a happy mother's day, and she didn't really talk about much of anything except the fact that they had to go up to my uncle's yesterday in a hurry because my cousin J was "Running off to Ohio to live with a Chinaman who owns an island." No idea where in Ohio, but his name is apparently . . . Pierre.

So, in summary: My cousin J, who has never been out of New Hampshire is now suddenly somewhere in Ohio with a French-named Asian man, who owns an island. I guess she's all set. No normal marriages for anybody in my family. No.