The Stars and the Cookie Jar

My shoe DID fall off. On the escalator.

I fell down three stairs of the escalator, landed on my ass, but at least no one stole my shoe at the bottom.

So then I was gimping even more than usual, and I took my socks off and my shoes stopped falling off, but in the 100 or so total steps I took in the train station and on/off the bus, I got a scorching blister on my left heel.

Did I mention the part where three out of four transit gates thought my transit card was de-magnetized? "Should work!" said the helpful man in the kiosk.

And now for my last day at work, which was already making me wibbly, and features let me tell you the dumbest Ebonics-speaking temp in the history of the world. Some people temp because of hard luck. Other people temp because they haven't the knack for a professional environment AND GET FIRED FOR BEING STUPID AND EATING PEOPLE'S SNACKS.

And she ate all my snacks, down to the oatmeal.

And my wife is going to Neil Gaiman tonight without me, on my last day of work during which I am sure to be crying. Because that's what I do. I cry at inopportune times.

At least there's going to be an ice-cream cake.

*limps off*

Me: Let me know when you want to cover your lunch hour!

She: Oh, I don't take lunch. That way I get to leave an hour earlier.

Me: ....Did [Boss] say that?

She: No, it's what I do. See, I came in at 8:30 this morning, and I leave at 4:30.

Me: No, you leave at 5:30.

She: That's why I don't take no lunch.

Me: You have to take a lunch hour. It's the law. And I don't think you can leave at 4:30. We need phone coverage until 5:30.

She: But that's a nine-hour day.

Me: That's why you get an hour for lunch.

She: I don't work til no 5:30.

Me: OK, but -- didn't they tell you at the temp agency that the hours for the position were 8:30-5:30?

She: That's why I don't take no lunch, so's I can leave at 4:30.

Me: You can't. Just. Leave. I've worked 8:30 to 5:30 most of the time I've been here. I used to work 8:30 to 6:00. Everyone here works nine hours with an hour for lunch to make it eight.

She: I don't work til no 5:30. I has to call my agency.

Me: Let me know when you want me to cover your lunch. *facepalms*