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posted by [personal profile] selkie at 09:17pm on 07/11/2006
I didn't mean to make stuff for the crock pot for tomorrow. I intended to run the dishwasher, pack the lunches, and get out of the kitchen, in favor of tidying up the bedroom.

Then my mother called, and suddenly I found myself pulling out the cutting board, getting the sheepsfoot out of my knife roll, and searching about for raw vegetables. I made it through all the potatoes we had -- admittedly only three pounds -- and was starting to tourne a bunch of carrots when I realised they came from the bag ready-peeled and baby-cut. Then I smashed up a bunch of garlic, holding the phone with my shoulder. Chop. Chop. Chop. Whunk. Smack. I'm sorry, Mother, were you saying something?

And then she kept talking, so I made a sauce. The tail end of some cider, an apple that was starting to go to the bad -- and you should have seen the matchsticks that apple ended in, I think my mother was asking 'When's Whatsherface's birthday, again?' or maybe it was 'Why would you want to pretend to have a married name?' -- nice even matchsticks, NICE, EVEN, MATCHSTICKS, butter, a little bit of brandy, cracked pepper.

She hung up, and I was looking at a cutting board full of vegetables and a saucier full of stuff.

Uh.

My inspiration in the kitchen, gentle readers. My mother.
There are 5 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] lisechen.livejournal.com at 02:19pm on 08/11/2006
Wow, Selkie.

Your rage is delicious!
 
posted by [identity profile] strange-selkie.livejournal.com at 02:20pm on 08/11/2006
I just find it sadder and sadder that rage has to happen every time my mother calls. Who knows what I would have embedded the knife in if I didn't have root vegetables on the counter?
 
posted by [identity profile] lisechen.livejournal.com at 03:10pm on 08/11/2006
Thank goodness for root vegetables.

Man, what is it with people's parents sucking lately?

There should be a Coalition Against Sucktastic Parents.
batyatoon: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] batyatoon at 02:40pm on 08/11/2006
Yay for kitchen therapy?

(Socially acceptable excuse to play with knives and fire. KNIVES AND FIRE, baby.)
 
posted by [identity profile] strange-selkie.livejournal.com at 02:47pm on 08/11/2006
I did not flame the brandy in the sauce. ADMIRABLE RESTRAINT I tell you. Also the matches were in the other room.

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