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Sometimes it's hard to be a grownup

posted by [personal profile] selkie at 11:17am on 22/10/2008
I hurt a lot right now.

I'm in this place where my heart says "keep believing" and my mind says "prepare for the worst, because the worst always happens." 

It's a difficult spot. I mean, do you go right to activate internet support system! or just hole up in yourself until it's all over?

And... that's really all I can say about things right now, except I wish I wasn't at work and I'm glad I have an office with a door that shuts, and I hope no one wanted me to DO anything today.
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There are 19 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 

(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] spiderine.livejournal.com at 03:27pm on 22/10/2008
*HUGS*
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] strange-selkie.livejournal.com at 03:32pm on 22/10/2008
Thanks. *sniffles* It could be worse. Obama could be losing.
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posted by [identity profile] imaginarycircus.livejournal.com at 03:32pm on 22/10/2008
I have that problem too with my head and my heart. It's hard being torn in two like that--especially during bad times. Though it equally taints good times and it makes it hard for me to relax and be happy because I'm always bracing for the next explosion.

*squash*

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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] strange-selkie.livejournal.com at 03:34pm on 22/10/2008
I am building my professional reputation sob by sniffle, yes ma'am. *facepalms* Yeah, I have kind of forgotten about the 'relax and be happy' part of life.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] imaginarycircus.livejournal.com at 03:45pm on 22/10/2008
I wrote a long thinky message and somehow I doubt that's what you need right now. I wish I was local to you guys so I could make you dinner and wrap you both in warm blankets.

David and I are thinking all the positive thoughts we can.

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posted by [identity profile] strange-selkie.livejournal.com at 03:58pm on 22/10/2008
Thank you. We;re trying to stay positive, but it's like being in limbo, or trying to exist in a paused world. And you'll understand when I say that I just wish I had a parent to go to with this, somebody with comfort and hugs and easy advice. My mother in law is fabulous, but not a talky, huggy kind of fabulous.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] imaginarycircus.livejournal.com at 04:06pm on 22/10/2008
I do understand. I've been emailing N too since I saw this LJ post and hers. I wish I had some easy advice and could actually hug you guys. I think David would be good to talk to if you knew him. He is easy and talky and huggy--and so calm.

Limbo is horrible. I think some people figure out how to go limp and wait. But I get more and more anxious and then my IBS flares. Just waiting to hear back from the agent this summer made me so sick. I'm about to send draft 3 to her and I think I better find a therapist so I don't make myself horrifically ill again.

Anyway I'm here if you guys need me even though I know there is nothing I can do especially from Cambridge.
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gramarye1971: a lone figure in silhouette against a blaze of white light (Hermione)

(no subject)

posted by [personal profile] gramarye1971 at 03:39pm on 22/10/2008
Thinking of you.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] strange-selkie.livejournal.com at 04:02pm on 22/10/2008
Thanks. *hugs* It's so weird to be me right now, because there are still lots of things to be positive about. It's just one of those times where at work is probably not where one should be, because being self-conscious that I'm crying is pretty much a dead guarantee that I will cry more and not be able to pull myself together. And I thought about taking a walk, but then I would be That Crazy Person Crying on the Waterfront in the Freezing-Ass Wind. *sighs*
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Internet Support System Activates Wether You Think it's Warrented or Not.

posted by [identity profile] cucumberseed.livejournal.com at 03:39pm on 22/10/2008
It also hopes things improve.
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misslucyjane: poetry by hafiz (glomp!)

(no subject)

posted by [personal profile] misslucyjane at 04:03pm on 22/10/2008
Activate internet support system.

*hugs*
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innerbrat: (hug)

(no subject)

posted by [personal profile] innerbrat at 04:05pm on 22/10/2008
let your heart and your mind find a compromise.

And the internet support system is constantly on standby.

You should do something about that. It's not ecologically sound.
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sovay: (Default)

(no subject)

posted by [personal profile] sovay at 04:30pm on 22/10/2008
*hugs*

You are loved, selkie.
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lunamystic: ([bones] Hug)

(no subject)

posted by [personal profile] lunamystic at 04:49pm on 22/10/2008
*hugs lots*

The wombats also stand ready, should you need them.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] la-rainette.livejournal.com at 09:11pm on 22/10/2008
*hugs tight*

Love you, Selkie. Love you lots. Thinking of you guys, big time.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] lonespark.livejournal.com at 10:40pm on 22/10/2008
You can haz...

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs
Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs
Hugs Hugs Hugs
HugsHugsHugs
Hugs Hugs
HugsHugs
Hugs!
!!!

Is there no one at work who would take a walk with you? Many people know what it's like to have that kind of day. In my experience, crying in the bathroom (which is what I was confined to, having no office) usually resulted in someone (usually someone I barely knew) providing some kind of rescue. And, I have no idea if it helps in your case, but can you get away with telling your immediate boss you have to spend your day on the phone with the Employee Assistance program (assuming there is one)?

Good luck. I guess you're probably home now, so that's probably a bit better.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] indy-go.livejournal.com at 12:37am on 23/10/2008
*drive-by hugging* Love.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] metallumai.livejournal.com at 03:50am on 23/10/2008
Hope it looks better tomorrow...XXXX
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] jedi-diplomat.livejournal.com at 05:14pm on 23/10/2008
*hugs* I hate it when there's that crossroad.
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