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Good morning! I seek opinions. And on the internet, EVERYONE has one of those, right?

I am trying to write a children's book -- specifically one for LGBT families. If you are a part of such a family, trying hard to create such a family, or just saunter vaguely into the L, G, B, T, or even Q category and have some thoughts on the subject, put them here. I have secured a kick-ass, expressive illustrator for my work.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN A READ-ALONG BOOK FOR LGBT PARENTS TO SHARE WITH THEIR KIDS?

Please choose, or suggest otherwise in comments:

-- a regular little book with a conventional story, showing an LGBT instead of a heteronormative family doing everyday things in the course of the story

-- a "story of you" kind of book with two moms or two dads instead of all that momsie and dadsie claptrap

-- a "when you were born" book with gentle references to surrogacy or donor insemination as a means to parenting, and two moms/two dads to follow along with -- and less of all that "Daddy brought Mommy some ice chips in the seventeenth hour of back labor, because there was nothing else a Daddy was supposed to do!" stuff

-- an ungendered version of any of the above, with gender-signal-free illustrations of people doing things, and names for parents that do not assign a gender to the non-gestational parent

-- a fairy tale in which the plucky protagonist leaves a home with two mommies/two daddies/two parents to find adventure

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There are 92 comments over 2 pages. (Reply.)

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As a former employee of the publishing industry, the last thing you want is to write a "problem" or didactic story. There needs to be a story first and foremost, so I think that is definitely the way to go.

See "King & King" as a fabulous example of this :)

Oh, I love King and King, but the illustrations drive me up a TREE. :)

I have stories in mind that hopefully won't edge into the didactic... Maybe I'll pen the next "Everybody Poops."

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dramawench.livejournal.com

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

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dramawench.livejournal.com

I would like to see option one, the conventional story, and I would love to see how someone would deal with how to explain surrogacy and such to little kids, purely for the challenge of it.

I'd kind of like to see a fairy tale, but why not make it about the plucky protagonist's same-sex relationship, rather than their parents? I'd love to buy my hypothetical kid a book about a princess who runs away from home and all the boring dudes her parents want her to marry and finds herself a nice stable milkmaid to grow old with.

See King and King for a fairy tale that's already made good, even if it's less adventure and more Twelve Dancing Princesses. I don't want to tread on someone else's sales, even if the stories wouldn't be the same.

Thank you! Your suggestions have been noted. :) I really would like to do a book that answers the 'this is how we made you' question in an LGBT-friendly way, so I may take up the challenging challenge.

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madripoor-rose.livejournal.com

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

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lonespark.livejournal.com

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

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copperbadge.livejournal.com

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metallumai.livejournal.com

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lonespark.livejournal.com

I think all of these types of books should exist in greater numbers than they do now, but I don't know of any books currently existing that explain things like surrogacy or donors in a kid-friendly way.

That's really the one I'm leaning toward. I'd have to do interviews! It would be cool.

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lonespark.livejournal.com

I like the conventional story option and the fairy tale option. As a kid, i sort of firmly wanted to beleive in the cabbage patch or stork theory as the idea of birth horrified me, so I always lean away from any kids story that involves telling them they were at one point in someone's belly, even if it is something they've already processed intellectually.

:) Thanks. I have to keep reminding myself that most of the small children I know who have the 'When you were born' kind of book are from homes that are very forward-thinking and open about birth to begin with.

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sovay

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

Personally, I love the idea of the first and last options. And I echo the suggestion above, re: having the fairy tale protagonists be the ones with the same-sex relationship. As far as treading on King and King goes, that's all well and good, but I would love to see some princesses adventuring together.

I suspect that the "how we made you" story line is one to be reserved for somewhat older kids; I didn't get that sort of story till I was 10 or 11.

I know it's been done, mainly back in the 70s, but again, not very well and with stupid illustrations, and therefore certainly worth revisiting: the "all sorts of families" book. You know: "Melissa lives with her granny and a big Alsatian; Davey and his big brother are a family; Anthony and his two moms like to go to the zoo on Saturdays, and Mary Pat has 13 brothers and sisters!"

Good point re: 'How we made you'. Friends of ours (a two-mom family) have that sort of books already, but their kid is ALREADY at the 'I have a VAGINA' stage and rather advanced in most other respects too. :D

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lacylu42.livejournal.com

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lhazzie.livejournal.com

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lonespark.livejournal.com

Well, if you're looking for inspiration on the subject I suggest checking out some of Leanne Franson's work. I think she's done a few LGBT-focused children's books, or has at least tried to get them out there. She's an illustrator working out of Montreal and also a single gay mom herself. (She just adopted a son.) She also ran a (now, sadly on hiatus) webcomic called 'Liliane, Bi-Dyke' which covered some of her difficulties in trying to get a LGBT children's book out. Her problems were somewhat different, thought, coming from the illustrator's end. However, she's a really great person to talk to. She might be able to give you a hand. She certainly knows the market.

How I classify self: Bisexual, but female married to a male, so leaning toward ally?

For myself, I would like a option A (regular book with normal LGBT family) or option E (fairy tale with LGBT family), mostly because what kids I may or may not have won't need to have anything special explained to them. However, I would like aforementioned children to understand that whether or not someone else has one or two mommies or daddies - that it is normal.

The being said, I think that all of the above should be written. I'm just giving you my opinion of what I would want.

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clodia-risa.livejournal.com

I remember reading a book that consisted of a series of stories (like a lot of the childrens books I remember) about a girl growing up with a stay-at-home dad.Her stories were perfectly normal day-to-day stories,her family was fairly conventional, but her Dad was her primary caregiver and her mother went to work.The book sometimes focused on the problems an 'unconventional' family faced, and sometimes just a regular kids book. It did, however, teach me that sometimes daddies stay home.

So I think that I'd prefer option 1 with an lgbt family for definite, then the fairy tale.

Have you ever read "Shades of Black" by Sandra Pinkney? It describes all different skin-tones, hair-types and eye colors with the message that everyone is special and unique. It's my favorite children's book, and I'd like to see it adapted for different types of families.

Don't know if it requires further clarification: the target audience is African American children. (but I still read it whenever I happen across my copy)

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-- a regular little book with a conventional story, showing an LGBT instead of a heteronormative family doing everyday things in the course of the story
-- a fairy tale in which the plucky protagonist leaves a home with two mommies/two daddies/two parents to find adventure

I'd be most interested in these -- as a lesbian mom, the "how we made you" thing is not so much an issue to me as having representations of families like my daughter's presented matter-of-factly in stories that don't dwell on "OMG, Heather has two mommies!" I also always like books that casually include all different kinds of families.

Thanks! I'm doing this mostly out of frustration that there are few books that show my (future) family. The ones that do are either of the Heather Has Two Mommies ilk -- which was okay for its time, but we have moved ahead! -- or don't have the best production values, and good illustration is as important as good text when appealing to kids, I think.

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lonespark.livejournal.com

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debka-notion.livejournal.com

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

One of my favorite books for children is also the most challenged book ever - Tango Makes Three, the TRUE story of two male penguins who hatch an abandoned egg and raise her like any of the other penguin couples.

I've heard good things about King and King, though I haven't read it. Lee Wind has a great website called I'm Here I'm Queer, Now What the Hell Do I Read? that has a growing section of children's LGBT-themed lit, and a large collection of YA lit. Check him out here: www.leewind.org

And, uh, yeah - I re-read your post, and realized you weren't looking for book suggestions. I'm an idiot.

To answer your question, as a straight parent trying to raise her child to see homosexuality as normal, I'd be most interested in the first option where the LGBT family doing the same kinds of things as heteronormative families. A fun story celebrating a gay wedding would be nice - little girls love weddings, and wouldn't it be even better if there were two wedding dresses?

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Here from copperbadge, too.

I think that the 'regular story' and 'when you were born' books look good, but your suggestions make me think one thing: what about families that aren't nuclear? LGBT and otherwise, there are lots of kids growing up in families that don't fit the two parent model, and I would plead that you don't reinforce the nuclear-family norm as you work to be more gender inclusive. Perhaps you could show different kinds of families in the background, even?

Demographic-wise, I'm a queer woman who grew up in a single-parent household in a supportive network of blood related and non-blood related family; it wasn't especially queer (although it wasn't especially straight either) but it didn't look anything like any of the stories I read.

*came over from Madripoor Rose's post*

I'd say they all have merit and should all be written. Really, since kids are kids and families are families, there isn't any need to alter normal kids stories except make sure that there are more examples of non-heterosexual couples in the stories themselves.

Though I do especially like the idea of a When You Were Born story series that details all of the different ways a kid could come into the world. That might be a good idea even seperate from strictly gay and lesbian couples. A whole series of books covering both the "normal" birth process with the father and mother and ice, then maybe their kids, one of whom is infertile and adopts, the other is gay/lesbian, and so on and so forth down a few generations, emphasizing family in all it's forms and how it can all be found and accepted within one family.

I have to say, that as a teacher in training who works with small children often, this is a really great idea. Kids really don't know how to relate to new family types in TV and other places (especially way out in the conservative boondocks where I am right now)because it's treated as taboo and weird by their parents. Just demonstrating that it is normal, and that there really is not difference in any family, no matter how it's constructed, would be very good for the kids.

Oh. I thought you were looking for existing books. One book I love love love to recommend to anyone with a kid is: Peach and Blue

It's just one of the most beautiful, touching, inclusive books I've ever read. One of my top 5 books of all time. Seriously.

Stasia

Here from Copperbadge too. As someone who reads tons of picture books I would definitely agree with your first commenter - steer away from the didactic, whatever you do! It also really depends on the age you're aiming your book at. If it's 0-2, then something simple with repetition and pictures will work. If you want it for 2-5 year olds, I'd go for something with more of a story. If you want your book to last, go for something that you can read over and over again, even if that story is about something really simple like looking for a lost toy. Something that children will empathise with will be good - so having a family with two fathers or mothers just accepted would work, but I wouldn't make this the point of the book.
I hope your illustrator is really good - this can make or break a book on first impressions! Children tend to go for the bright and colourful and large rather than small or twee. Personally my favourite picture book illustrator at the moment is Nick Sharratt.
Good Luck!

I like this best:

-- a fairy tale in which the plucky protagonist leaves a home with two mommies/two daddies/two parents to find adventure

And this second best:

-- a regular little book with a conventional story, showing an LGBT instead of a heteronormative family doing everyday things in the course of the story

Your opinion is, of course, extremely crucial to the endeavour. But even if I went with one of the others, I wouldn't make the illustrator of my work of staggering junior genius draw coochies.

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schiarire.livejournal.com

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

I like fairy tales. And just, you know, instead of two parents of opposite sexes, just make 'em a same sex couple.

Though, any of the above, really.

ALSO TRUE LIFE:

Woman wants babies, woman is straight and single. Goes to ex-boyfriend's gay brother to ask for a sperm donation. Gay brother thinks for a second, and then says "I want to raise these kids too".

Straight woman and Homosexual man have, through science, three children (a set of twins), and a house. Homosexual man has moved out with his new hubby (though I guess prop 8 kinda nulled the marriage, but only in paperwork, and not spirit) and is still in his children's lives.

So! Hey! Normal life works too. Though, as someone mentioned earlier, the families do not have to be in any way the two parent kinds of families.

Also, here from copperbadge.

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

When you were born; I'm not sure any of those exist at present. Or a fairy tale with same-sex parents, because I'm not sure I've seen any of those, either. Protagonists, yes. Parents? Go for it.

I want to tackle the challenge of 'No, it wasn't the stork, kiddo' -- but I think I'm leaning toward a magic cooking pot variant as a first attempt, partly because N had never heard a 'Little pot, stop!" story, partly because I like kitchens. :)

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sovay

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strange-selkie.livejournal.com

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lonespark.livejournal.com

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sovay

I would love to see more books like your Option #1, where the family with gay parents is presented just as taken-for-granted as the family with a mom and a dad. Of course, I also love fairy tales and adventure stories and would be really thrilled to see Option #5 or, basically, Option #1 transplanted into a fantasy world.

*wandered in here from

copperbadge's journal* Ah, well I'm not LGBT, but I have an opinion?
The last one sounds really cute. *loves fairy tales*
I also like the first suggestion, though I think the fourth sounds a little hard on your illustrator. Unless you use really simplified illustrations.

a "story of you" kind of book with two moms or two dads instead of all that momsie and dadsie claptrap

That one!

Straight, single mum here. Since my son's growing up not in a 'proper' family, it's nice to see people wanting to educate all kids about all varieties of life.

My 3yo son's favourite kind of books are ones with lots of rhymes (The Gruffalo for example) and great illustrations. I think as a general parent I'd love to see a book like every other book, a great story at the heart of it, that just happens to have same sex parents.

I'd like my son to grow up with the impression that every relationship and family are 'normal', not pointing out that a type of family is special, or that being a certain colour or whatever is different. Just that there's loads of different 'normals' and that it's no big deal. I think the more kids are exposed to differences in a normalised way then the more they'll just shrug and go 'oh yeah, and?' Well that was an essay wasn't it?

Also here from Copperbadge :D

All of the above, in a series that will later be collected in a box set.

The world just needs more stories with different kinds of families. Like, Kid Sparky is all into books about using the potty and getting a new baby. But those books have Mommy and Daddy in the background, which is fine, but there should be alternatives.

Either:

-- a regular little book with a conventional story, showing an LGBT instead of a heteronormative family doing everyday things in the course of the story

or

-- a fairy tale in which the plucky protagonist leaves a home with two mommies/two daddies/two parents to find adventure

Also, the protaganist does not have to be human, animals heroes with same sex parents would work too.

There are 92 comments over 2 pages. (Reply.)

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February