The Stars and the Cookie Jar

I'm going to be gone for a month, starting Monday. I'm trying to borrow a laptop from someone with a spare, but it's unlikely because, though they are a thoughtful person, they are also rather scatterbrained and as apt to send me a pot of red currant jam as a laptop.

Usually I'm good at finding computers by veritable sense of smell, but I have no idea where I'll be and what the public facilities-for-computing will be like.

And I'm getting a cell phone.

So many years have I resisted the vile pull of such technology... Not to mention the fact that I no longer have credit and will have to put down a deposit, like the little financial derelict I am. I hope Verizon has a really, really simple phone with not a lot of buttons... I'm bad with buttons...

(Well, some sorts of buttons. The other kind, I'm actually quite proficient at managing, with one hand, with my eyes blinded, with my teeth...)

Prrrrrr. What? Where was I? Huh?