The Stars and the Cookie Jar

Dear Washing Machine,

Why did you vomit fabric-softener from surely many, many loads all over my clothing on the rinse? I do not use fabric-softener.

Tks,
Selk


Dear Fleet of BankMerica,

$12 in Account Usage Fees on a free checking account? WTF? If you didn't have all the ATM's ever, I'd so switch.

No love,
Selk


Dear Feet,

Yes, and nine more hours tomorrow. You wanna take this outside?

You pussies,
Selk


Dear Aunt Linda,

Not only do you want the rent early because you overextended yourself buying half of Kohls, but you threw away my cell phone charger? Ahahahaha your level of consideration is funny. Also that one shirt you bought me as an afterthought is the wrong size, not dress code, and fugly.

Sadly, we're family,
Selk


Dear Ema,
Still bisexual, yes, and we're definitely leaning toward gay on this one.
And it's permanent.
Still writing that lesbian smut trash.

And you're still illiterate,
Selk