To all the kind commenters... [The Stars and the Cookie Jar]

Thank you for your hugs, virtual chocolate and support. They mean so much. If you'd like to link to the post, that's fine. I don't mind.

I would like to point one thing out: everything that happened to me was entirely legal. The TSA fines people, not the other way around. They are allowed to do everything they did, and do it without reason; they don't have to give a reason for anything but arresting you, and I was not under arrest. The thing is, both my fiancee and I accept this as a risk and a price of modern air travel in this country (I am not saying we agree with it, or condone it, or whatever. Just that we were both wide-eyed aware of the legal ratlines available for TSA agents to scurry along, and stepped into the airport anyway). I am not even so much protesting the search and the questioning, both of which are publicly stated risks of airline travel, especially in major cities.

I am objecting to the manner and the spirit in which it was all carried out. If your job requires you to search my person, speak calmly and plainly to me, and allow me to maintain until the last possible minute my trappings of spiritual security. There is no need to indulge in psychological terror when your subject is a weeping woman who did nothing to provoke a search, other than book a one-way ticket, and stand sniffling and clinging to her fiancee. I am objecting to the flavour of mockery, sexism and homophobia which the experience carried, and to the behaviour of people whose uniform gives them near-uncheckable power over... people just like them.

Maybe it has to be. It didn't have to be the way it was. That's all.

Special hugs to muffinbutt , la_rainette , copperbadge and mortifyd , for keeping darthrami and me sane. Well, for all the given allowance of sane we ever are.

And darthrami is my storm shelter, my beloved and my beautiful. She talks to my boss for me when I'm hoarse from crying and deaf as a stump from flying home in a wee baby jet plane. My boss.

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Here via muffinbutt. Read a bit of your journal, and friended you. Hope you don't mind.

Anyway, our country may be run by homophobic neoconservative Republicans, but at least 49% of us are sane, and we're here for you. : )

[link] [reply]

Complete stranger from

rm's link. This was just so wrong, but you're right it is technically legal. Which is the saddest part of this mess, I am glad you're feeling a little stronger now, and I'm glad your fiancee was able to take care of you.

I'm a relative stranger to you. I was directed here by a Milliways friend. I am so, so, so sorry this happened to you. To anyone.

My God. What have we become?

I know it won't help much, but *hugs* because no one deserves that.

It may be legal, but it's still not right.

The TSA should review their procedures in carrying out the law. There's a fine line between upholding order and approving tyranny. In-depth body search? Fine. Molestation in the guise of following the law? WRONG.

Anyways, take care.

I'm a complete stranger who,...actually cannot remember how I got here..but that's not important. I jsut came to offer hugs and sympathy. My mouth was gaping with disbelief and anger as I read your story. My heart goes out to you.

Only legal 'till challenged in court. Do as you like, of course, but do keep that in mind. Just in case the ACLU isn't all that busy this week.

It's amazing what unchecked fear has created. Step back and look: 1. They can take stuff from you and never give it back. 2. They can put you in a room and violate you. 3. You can't do anything to protect yourself. 4. All this because they are suspicious or curious. And remember most major ports remain unguarded, and many people still sneak into the country unnoticed. Does this sound like freedom to you? Seriously, what is the real reason for all of this? Could it be intimidation? Control? http://discopantsandhaircuts.com

Hi, you don't know me but I saw a link and read through your last post. Same as with all the comments, that's harsh. You have my prayers.

Talked to a lawyer or anything yet?

You don't know me at all, but I think if you can bear to, it would be a good idea to write to your representatives to complain about how you've been treated. I know from the experience of a friend of mine that doing so can make a difference.

*would hug you tightly but you've been traumatized enough by strangers touching you* *leaving a basket of hugs instead* oh honey! I just found your entry from a friends' lj.

I am so outraged on your behalf. I'm a Texan and an American, and I am so ashamed that this could happen to *ANYONE* in the so called 'land of the free.'

I am also a 'woman who loves a woman' and I am committed to banishing homophobia in all forms. When I pay my ACLU dues next week, I'll be thinking of you and your sweetie and all the people with same-sex partners.

Take care. I know it might not feel this way, but you're not alone.

Another stranger chiming in with sympathy. My wife and I were treated quite rudely by some TSA folks in St. Louis, though not to the extent that you were. They even made jokes about security, which passengers are not allowed to do lest it cast suspicion on us.

I'm sorry- that was awful and certainly immoral whether legal or not.

But, you may not have to put up with it. http://www.newsday.com/news/local/wire/ny-bc-ny--airportpatdowns1129nov29,0,1438672.story?coll=ny-ap-regional-wire Other women have complained (about 250 since they changed the law in September). I think you should lodge a complaint and make it known that they were wrong and had no reason for suspicion or treating you that way.

I am objecting to the manner and the spirit in which it was all carried out. If your job requires you to search my person, speak calmly and plainly to me, and allow me to maintain until the last possible minute my trappings of spiritual security. There is no need to indulge in psychological terror when your subject is a weeping woman who did nothing to provoke a search, other than book a one-way ticket, and stand sniffling and clinging to her fiancee. I am objecting to the flavour of mockery, sexism and homophobia which the experience carried, and to the behaviour of people whose uniform gives them near-uncheckable power over... people just like them.

Maybe it has to be. It didn't have to be the way it was. That's all.

On the official TSA website they state clearly:

TSA screeners are trained to conduct the inspections in a professional, respectful manner, while maintaining our high level of security.

From what you said, they were neither respectful nor professional.

It does not have to be that way. And it certainly shouldn't be this way.

I just emailed you with an offer from a friend of mine who works with airport security in one state. Please let me know if you want to pursue this. She's completely sincere and so am I.

Take care, hon.

The Stars and the Cookie Jar

To all the kind commenters...

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Here via Trollprincess

Sounds Familiar

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February